Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Go Canucks Go!!

Okay, the hubby is out tonight watching hockey with his buddies, so I have been able to catch up on my blogging.  Three in one day!  Crazy.  Also, the boy is sleeping so that helps...

I am blogging while watching the hockey game.  Its 7-3 for the Canucks, which is awesome.  I am not a huge hockey fan in the regular season, but I LOVE the playoffs if the Canucks are doing well.  And we are in the semi-finals, so it is fun to watch.  I also grew up in a family of all women (mother and two sisters), so needless to say, we didn't spend much time watching hockey in my formative years.  So, I am quite impressed with myself that I am watching the game even though the hubby is not here.  Go me!!!

So, I have been thinking lots lately about "what should have been".  I am coming up on Love's estimated due date: May 31st.  I would have gotten my cerclage out a couple of weeks ago (around 36 weeks).  I would be getting her room all ready.  Andy and I would have been taking bets on whether it was a boy or a girl. I am pretty good at guessing (I was SURE Avery was going to be a boy, and he was; I was pretty sure I was expecting a girl this time, and I was), so I might have been pocketing some $$ for being right in the near future.  I would have been HUGE right about now, and bitching about how friggin' uncomfortable I'm sure I would have been...  I would have been packing to get ready to stay at a friends house in Van until I went into labour and had our baby.  I was planning on having a nice, short, easy labour, with very little pain, and no drugs (Hey, this is my daydream - I can say what I want!).  But... ugh.  No such luck.  I'm sure you get that none of that is going to happen...

Mothers day was hard.  My hubby gave me a card from him and Avery and it had hearts all over it.  He outlined one of the hears with a pen and wrote Love's name beside it.  I lost it.  I sobbed.  Andy's mom Sue was here and got to witness my meltdown.  I actually don't mind that she saw that.  sometimes I feel like it is a good thing for people (especially close family) to see our pain and to realize that it is not over for us.

Oh, but to go back a bit, all I asked for for Mothers Day was the chance to sleep in, and for a homemade gift (SPOILER ALERT: I didn't get either!  A bunch of bitching follows.)

Avery came into our room at about 6:30am to get us up.  Andy tried to get him to cuddle with us (which he does not like to do), then he tried to get him to play for a while.  Avery protested and made a tone of noise because he just wanted to play.  About every 5 minutes or so, Avery wanted to come into the bedroom to see what Mommy was doing.  Get up Mommy!  Mommy come too!  Pancakes Mommy!  Sippy??!!  Needless to say, I did NOT get to sleep in.  So then, I get up, and my dear sweet hubby thinks that Pancakes are a GREAT idea, and since no one makes pancakes quite as well as I do (even though I follow a recipe that I found online, so basically anyone who knows how to read and can follow directions could make them just as well) I should just go ahead and make my "famous pancakes".  So, I get to make my own Mothers Day breakfast.  And, since that tactic worked, I think he must have said something along the lines of that no one cleans the kitchen as well as I do either, because somehow I ended up cleaning the kitchen after breakfast too.  On mothers day.  We were off to a great start!

Then I get my card that I mentioned above.  That was really sweet, and as I said, it brought me to tears.  I really really really friggin' missed my little girl.  I felt like I had a gaping open wound in my chest throughout the day.

(I should mention the second part of my request for Mothers day: a homemade present.  Well, as my gift, my dear sweet hubby is going to get me a bathroom vanity for our new house.  The brainiac who designed the master bath put a pedestal sink in there if you can even believe that.  Who does that?  Anyways, we are getting a new vanity.  I'm not sure that this counts as "homemade", but it is made for the home, so I will let it count.  I'm feeling generous...)

Anyways, I gotta run b/c the hubby just got home.  I'm all typed out.

Thanks for reading!

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear your Mothers Day wasn't as good as you hoped it could have been.
    Thinking of you and Love...

    ReplyDelete