I'm not really sure what I should post about today, but I feel like I have abandoned my blog, and I don't want to do that. I spend so much time reading other blogs that say exactly what I want to say and are done much more articulately than I could ever do (I'm looking at you "by the brooke"), that it kind of takes the wind out of my sails so I just read them and move on.
I am also struggling a little bit with blog envy. This is going to sound bonkers, but I feel like
a) I don't write as well as other bloggers
b) I can't organize my thoughts properly
c) I am not as witty or hilarious on paper as other bloggers (although I am pretty sure I am funny IRL. Go figure.)
d) I don't have very many followers (I just got my 7th follower! I was so freakin' excited. Thank you for following me!)
I am trying to grieve my daughter, but I find myself also now dealing with BLOG ENVY!!!
Okay, I am mostly kidding here, but there is a smidgen of truth to each of the points above. But, I guess the plus side is that the other blogs I am reading are saying what I want to say, so obviously I am not alone. But, if it's already being said, is there really a point to me saying it again too? And not as well??
Okay, maybe there is a point: for my own good. I started this blog in the beginning as a way to document my daughters short life, and the details of her delivery, and how I dealt with the aftermath of her death. I really just started it for my own records.
But then, I started reading other blogs, and realized that I wasn't alone, and started to join this online community of babylossmamas, and it became a lifeline for me. I can't even begin to describe how I felt when I started to blog about my experiences and feelings, and then to find out that others were reading and leaving comments!! And they agreed, and sympathized, and were feeling what I was feeling!!! It was just absolutely wonderful. I feel so fortunate to have this access to other women who are going through the same/similar things as me. I don't know what I would have done without it...
So I guess what I want to say to anyone who is reading is this: Thank you for reading. I am sorry if you are going through this too. Thank you for remembering Love with me. And I will remember your little one with you too.
Hugs to you all.